mimulus_borogove: (Default)
There must be a big holiday coming. The wacky-product offerings are ramping up.

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Dear Ms. Rabbit,

After announcing the launch of Van Gogh Vodka's two newest flavors, including the intense Double Espresso-Double Caffeine, the world's only vodka infused with REAL caffeine, we are proud to launch the official Web site surrounding the timely "affair" of this intriguing vodka. This Web site is a new trend in consumer marketing, incorporating cutting-edge creative design and technology aspects. See the release below for all the delicious details and please contact us for more information or any questions you may have.

For Immediate Release

Van Gogh Vodka Launches Potent “Micro-site” for One-of-a-Kind Vodka
New Caffeine-Enriched, Double Espresso Flavor Online at www.twotimed.com!

ORLANDO, FLA., October 31, 2005 -- Van Gogh Vodkas, the award-winning top-shelf flavored vodka company that brought you martini’s “your way,” is reaching out to digital consumers with the launch of www.twotimed.com, the Web site for the world’s only Double Espresso-flavored, Double Caffeine-enriched vodka. The innovative site was developed by .Com Marketing, a full service interactive ad agency, of Winter Park, Florida.

The new and compelling “micro-site” resonates the mystery surrounding Van Gogh’s new Double Espresso-Double Caffeine flavor and hinges on the edge of a new trend in engaging consumers; an interactive, laser targeted, viral marketing campaign. However, this micro-site offers a truly different experience than anything else in the vodka or martini world. The Web site (www.twotimed.com) launches the new Double Espresso-Double Caffeine flavor with a passionate, almost shocking story cloaked with the intrigue of being “two-timed.” Snoop through the files of a private investigator to see who is two-timing your morning espresso. Express your own two-timing confessions online. Find unique martini recipes to try out for yourself.

“The sophisticated consumer requires a clever message to engage their attention,” said Eric Raymond, Creative Director for .Com Marketing and mastermind behind the new micro-site. “We intend to heighten consumers’ curiosity with a unique interactive environment that drops them smack dab into the middle of an alluring plot, in this case a compelling affair between your morning espresso and your evening vodka.”

Imported from Schiedam, Holland’s 125-year old Dirkzwager Distillery, Van Gogh Vodka is handcrafted in small batches using the finest grains. The exclusive new Double Espresso flavor is no exception; rich, smooth vodka boasting a grainy sweet flavor and the title of the world’s ONLY caffeine-enriched vodka.

David van de Velde, president of Luctor International, owner and exclusive importer for Van Gogh Vodkas, feels the Web site (www.twotimed.com) will appeal to the demographic that drives online communities. “The new Double Espresso-Double Caffeine vodka can sell itself on flavor alone, but this is about more than selling a product. This is about telling a story in an original way that will create excitement among consumers as a ‘must have’ while educating them about the Van Gogh Vodka brand, our centuries-old tradition of distilling and refining vodka and our family of 14 super-premium vodka flavors.”

The Web site (www.twotimed.com) coincides with the launch of two new flavors, the Double Espresso-Double Caffeine and Black Cherry vodka. The Double Espresso-Double Caffeine flavor is designed to augment Van Gogh’s best-selling original espresso flavor, packing in two times the experience. Van Gogh’s new Double Espresso-Double Caffeine flavor will be available wherever Van Gogh Vodka is sold starting November 1, 2005.

Find out more about Van Gogh Vodka at www.twotimed.com and make sure to find out who is two-timing you!

####
Van Gogh Vodkas features more flavors than any other premium brand in the world. In addition to the two newest offerings, Van Gogh Vodka comes in award winning original flavor, as well as apple, Dutch chocolate, vanilla, raspberry, orange, citrus, pineapple, coconut, melon, mango and espresso flavors. Luctor International owns and distributes world-wide all Van Gogh Vodkas, gins and liqueurs from the Dirkzwager Distillery in Scheidam in The Netherlands.

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I mean, it's even got an apostrophe error.
mimulus_borogove: (Default)
I really don't know how I got on this list, but I just can't ask them to remove my name.

Hello Ms. Rabbit:

Any editorial comment or mention that you may give this press
release would be greatly appreciated.


- - -


NEW BALL POINT PEN IS A POWERFUL PSYCHOLOGICAL DETERRENT TO
TERROR AND HOLDS THE PROMISE OF ENDING SUICIDE BOMBINGS


Dateline: October 25, 2005 ... Las Vegas, NV
Contact Name: John Murphy
Contact Phone: (408) 239-6642
E-mail: jmurphy@susbloodlabs.com
Web Address: http://www.susbloodlabs.com


LAS VEGAS, NV - October 25, 2005 - With global suicide bombings
on the rise, more and more innocent lives are being destroyed. In
response, Susblood Labs, LLC is introducing a quality writing
instrument that contains a potent formulation including a non-toxic,
cryogenically frozen porcine plasma (pig's blood) as a key component.

The ancient Islamic "Doctrine of Jihad" promises homicide bombers an
eternity in paradise accompanied by seventy-two virgins in exchange for
committing their deadly acts of suicidal terror. However, this same
doctrine states that Muslim terrorists defiled by pig's blood will not
enter paradise, but will instead spend eternity in hell, alone.

"Knowing that a fine mist of pig's blood will be sprinkled all over
his body after his bomb explodes may well cause an Islamic terrorist
to think twice before following through with his heinous act," says
Dr. James Susblood, founder of Susblood Labs, LLC.

Just last year, pig's blood and other pork by-products were approved
for use in Israel by the Jerusalem Rabbinical Court in an effort to
dissuade homicide bombings.

"Our intent is to overcome the threat of terror with the promise of
eternal damnation," says Dr. Susblood.

Susblood Labs, LLC is today announcing the release of a new ergonomic
and completely functional ball point pen called "Infidel's Revenge".
This pen is a high quality writing instrument and incorporates the
same technology used in the company's industrial product line. The
Infidel's Revenge ball point pen resembles a hypodermic needle and is
encased in a sealed plastic cylinder that contains the patent-pending
formula. The formula is non-toxic and completely safe. This pen can
now be purchased by any consumer, and provides a simple and effective
way for everyone to fight terrorism.

"Finally, there is something we can all do to prevent terror attacks.
Using the new Susblood pens for your everyday writing needs means that
terror prevention technology will be resident in every drawer, every
purse, every pocket everywhere, thereby eliminating the terrorists'
primary motivation for homicide bombing," states Dr. Susblood.
"Suicide bombers contemplating terror must now decide between
completing their mission and spending eternity in hell."

About Susblood Labs, LLC

Susblood Labs, LLC is a privately held research and development
company headquartered in Las Vegas, NV, and engaged in the production
and deployment of terror prevention technologies designed to save
innocent men, women and children from suicide terrorist acts.
Susblood Labs products are safe and, when properly used, pose no
health hazards. At the same time these products provide a powerful and
frightful psychological deterrent to the would-be-terrorists of the
Jihad.

For more information or an interview, please contact John Murphy, Vice
President of Business Development, at 1785 E. Sahara Ave. Suite 490,
Las Vegas, NV 89104 or call (408) 239-6642 or email:
jmurphy@susbloodlabs.com or visit the company's web site at:
http://www.susbloodlabs.com

------

Susblood. Can that be real? And don't Israelis have pork issues? I understand that they sometimes bend the
rules for medical reasons, but for this?

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