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This summer, Sweety and I attended a truly marvelous wedding. It was in a tiny space by a pond in a gorgeous wooded hillside. Our considerate friends rented a B&B and hired nannies to watch all the guests' kids. And the ceremony was so moving that even the participants cried. We had to leave before the reception due to the kids' bedtime, but we swore we'd take our newly married friends, A and E, to a nice dinner to catch up and talk about the wedding.

A few weeks ago, A and E came to visit.  We spent a little time reacquainting them with the kids, who they hadn't seen in a while. We went out to a nice Italian restaurant. Wine, pasta, main dishes, dessert and coffee. We reminisced about the wedding, which really was one of the most touching and beautiful I've ever attended. We chatted about friends, former co-workers, and current events.

All the topics of conversation were interesting, but one of my favorite chats happened with A on the way to the restaurant. "How is it being married?" I asked.

"Not much different, really," he told me. "We've been together fifteen years."

I still get a little glow from being married, and I told him that. "But the best part is the way you suddenly become legitimate in society," I mused. "The neighbors ask you over. Everybody wants to help you celebrate."

A nodded. "It made a big difference with family, too." He told me that the marriage made their families more comfortable. Then he added, "No on 8!"

A and E are wonderful people. We've known them for years; Sweety used to work with A, and I always looked forward to seeing A at work get-togethers. When the twins were small, A and E bravely visited our chaotic household and brought lunch. They helped to feed and hold the babies. The babies clearly liked them.

A and E are a fantastic couple. They have the kind of deep love you want all your friends to have. Sweety and I were thrilled when their commitment ceremony became a wedding. And yes, they are both men.

Now the state of California is about to vote as to whether A and E, and others who happen to be in romantic and loving same-sex relationships, have the right to be married. I know that a lot of people are considering voting Yes on 8 to make gay marriage illegal, and I think these people don't have the whole story. Perhaps they just don't know a couple like A and E. 

If you came to this blog knowing me, you probably knew this would be my take on it. If you didn't, please think about it. The state of California is not going to require that marriage be taught in schools. It's not going to demand that your church perform gay marriages (heck, look at the hoops you have to jump through to get married in a church even now). And if you are married and straight, your marriage will not mean any less because gays can get married, too. After watching A and E get married, and hearing how it helped their families to accept them, it made marriage mean even more to me.

Please encourage all your California friends to vote No on 8. It will hurt no one, and it will help some people who are in love. It will help their families, too.

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mimulus_borogove

March 2009

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